Single Parents by Choice: Your Complete IVF Guide

Deciding to become a single parent by choice (SPBC or SMC for "single mother by choice") is one of the most intentional, thoughtful paths to parenthood. You're not settling or waiting—you're taking charge of your future.

Whether you're a single woman considering IVF with donor sperm, or a single man exploring surrogacy with donor eggs, this guide covers what you need to know to make your dream of parenthood reality.

Your Pathways to Parenthood

Single Women: The IVF Process

For single women, the IVF process is identical to what couples experience—the only difference is using donor sperm instead of a partner's. Here's your journey:

Step 1: Fertility Testing

Before starting, you'll have a complete fertility workup:

• AMH, FSH, estradiol (ovarian reserve)
• Antral follicle count (AFC)
• Ultrasound of uterus and ovaries
• Infectious disease screening
• General health assessment

Step 2: Donor Sperm Selection

This is often the most emotionally complex part. You'll choose from:

• Anonymous donors: Identity not disclosed; basic profile only
• Open-ID donors: Child can contact donor at age 18
• Known donors: Someone you know (requires legal agreements)

Sperm banks provide detailed profiles including:

• Physical characteristics
• Educational background
• Health history (3 generations)
• Personality questionnaires
• Audio interviews or staff impressions
• Baby/adult photos (sometimes)

Step 3: IVF Cycle

Your cycle proceeds exactly like any IVF cycle:

• Ovarian stimulation (10-14 days of injections)
• Monitoring appointments
• Egg retrieval (day procedure)
• Fertilization with donor sperm
• Embryo development and grading
• Optional PGT-A testing
• Embryo transfer

IUI vs. IVF for Single Women

Single Men: Surrogacy Path

For single men, the path to biological parenthood requires a gestational carrier (surrogate) and egg donor. This is more complex and expensive, but absolutely achievable.

The Process

1. Fertility testing: Semen analysis, infectious disease screening
2. Egg donor selection: Agency or clinic-recruited, anonymous or known
3. Surrogate matching: Through agency or independently
4. Legal contracts: Essential before any procedures
5. Embryo creation: Your sperm + donor eggs via IVF
6. Embryo transfer: To gestational carrier
7. Pregnancy and birth: Surrogate carries; you're legally the parent

Why Colombia for Single Male Surrogacy

• Surrogacy is legal and regulated
• Single men are welcome
• Costs significantly lower than US ($50,000-70,000 vs. $150,000+)
• Experienced agencies and clinics
• Clear legal pathways to parentage

Donor Selection: Anonymous vs. Open-ID vs. Known

This decision has long-term implications for your family. Consider:

Anonymous Donors

• Pros: Simpler legally, clear boundaries, widely available
• Cons: Child cannot access donor info; DNA testing may connect them anyway
• Consider if: Privacy is important; you prefer clear separation

Open-ID (Identity Release) Donors

• Pros: Child can contact donor at 18; answers medical/identity questions
• Cons: May have fewer donors available; uncertainty about future contact
• Consider if: You want to give your child options; anticipate their curiosity

Known Donors

• Pros: Child knows genetic origins; can have ongoing relationship
• Cons: Complex boundaries; requires clear legal agreements; potential relationship complications
• Consider if: You have a trusted friend/family member; comfortable with complexity

Financial Considerations

Solo parenthood means single income but also single decision-maker. Budget realistically:

Treatment Costs (Colombia)

• IUI cycle: $500-$1,500 + donor sperm
• IVF cycle: $5,000-$8,000 + donor sperm
• Donor sperm: $500-$1,500 per vial (usually need 1-2 per cycle)
• Egg donor + IVF: $8,000-$15,000
• Full surrogacy journey: $50,000-$70,000

Beyond Treatment

• Pregnancy care and delivery
• Childcare (significant for single parents)
• Reduced work capacity initially
• Building your support network
• Future sibling costs if desired

Building Your Support System

Single parenting is absolutely doable—but community matters. Consider:

• Family support: Are parents, siblings, extended family nearby and supportive?
• Friend network: Who can you call at 2am?
• SMBC communities: Online groups, local meetups with others on the same path
• Childcare backup plans: For illness, emergencies, self-care
• Professional support: Therapist familiar with solo parenting

Talking to Your Child About Their Origins

Research consistently shows that early, age-appropriate disclosure leads to better outcomes. Consider:

• Start early: Make donor conception part of your family story from the beginning
• Use simple language: "Mommy wanted you so much, and a kind person helped by giving a special cell"
• Normalize it: Families are made in many ways
• Answer questions honestly: Age-appropriate honesty builds trust
• Children's books: Many great books explain donor conception

Legal Considerations

Protect yourself and your future child:

• Donor contracts: Even with known donors, formalize agreements
• Parentage: Understand how your country handles single-parent birth certificates
• Guardianship: Name a guardian in your will before baby arrives
• Life insurance: Essential as a single parent
• Legal consultation: Family law attorney familiar with ART

Colombia: Welcoming Single Parents

Colombia is one of the most single-parent-friendly destinations for fertility treatment:

• No discrimination: Single women and men treated equally
• Legal framework: Clear laws supporting single parents through ART
• Donor options: Anonymous and known donors available
• Surrogacy: Legal for single men with proper contracts
• Cost advantage: 50-70% savings compared to US
• Quality care: Experienced clinics accustomed to international patients

You've Got This

Choosing single parenthood isn't the easy path—but it's often the right one. You're not waiting for circumstances to be perfect. You're creating the family you want, on your own terms.

Thousands of happy, healthy families have been built exactly this way. Your future child won't be missing anything—they'll be deeply wanted and intentionally created. That's a beautiful foundation for any family. 💜